


Fury

by teardrop193



Category: mine - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-02
Updated: 2013-06-16
Packaged: 2017-12-10 04:07:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/781576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teardrop193/pseuds/teardrop193
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For my sweet astolenmoonlight. Thank you for your support and love :)</p></blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

            “Hey, what’s the matter?” David’s voice was gentle as he spoke. “What are you still doing awake?”

            I debated which part I wanted to tell him. Being in Australia was very different from back home in little old Michigan. The humidity was enough to kill, the time change alone would drive a normal person insane and yet it wasn’t that I was unhappy here. It was in fact the exact opposite, I loved it here. I was just having a hard time adjusting. The culture, weather and time were one thing but the biggest adjustment was knowing that I had what hundreds of other girls truly wanted, David. Those hundreds included a trio of my own very jealous friends. Cassidy, Katharine and Amanda’s daily calls for updates about how things were going and which was part of why I was still awake. However, if David found out, he’d tell me to turn the phone off from now on and I would be ok but it wasn’t that simple.

            “Couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to wake you so figured I’d come out here.” Although I had been trying my best to not wake him, it had more to do with Cassidy’s phone call. “What are you doing up?” The only thing that I could hope for was that I hadn’t woken him.

            “The humidity is killing me, it’s not like being in the states. You’d think after being here all of my life I’d be used to it but it’s awful. And then I rolled over and realized you weren’t there either. I thought maybe you were on the phone again.”

            I was trying my hardest not to show that he had just hit the nail on the head but I was pretty sure that it showed anyways. “The phone didn’t wake me, I was already up when Cassidy called.”

            “Haven’t they figured out by now that it’s 4 o’clock in the morning?” David’s face told the story as he let himself drop into the arm chair across from me. It was obvious that he wasn’t happy about the situation. “You’ve been here nearly two weeks and you hardly sleep. When is it going to stop?”

            “Go back to sleep.” It took everything in my power to stay calm and speak the words because my temper was starting to flare. “We can talk about it after that. Before something is said that shouldn’t be.”

            “I’m worried about you Stephanie. If you aren’t sleeping, you’re more likely to end up sick and I’d hate to see you suffer that way.” David’s eyes were genuine as he watched me, the sparkle that I had fallen in love with returned to his green eyes before he continued. “Besides, we both know I sleep better with you at my side.”

            He was right, I did know that, but I also wasn’t sure that I’d be able to sleep, and there was no reason for me to wake him up again with my restlessness. However, there was something in his green eyes that had me giving in to him again. Perhaps it was the fact that he was giving me the puppy dog eyes or maybe it was the part of me that still didn’t believe I could in fact sleep beside him. “Alright, Alright I’ll do it.” If nothing else it would give me time to sort some of this out in my head. I had tried while he was off at work but a lot of that time had been spent trying to get used to being here.

            I couldn’t help being mesmerized as David pushed his long well built frame from the chair before holding out a hand to me. “Come then. It will be an early morning I’m afraid. Are you coming to set with me?”

            Taking his hand and pulling myself to my feet I offered a small yawn as I watched him trying to judge if he was searching for a particular answer but no answer came. “No, I think I’m going to spend the day here at the house. Just kind of lay low, maybe go to the mall, and sleep in.” It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go, but the truth was David had kept a close eye on me since the plane had touched down. It wasn’t that he was over protective or even dangerous to me, more afraid that perhaps I wouldn’t enjoy things here and might disappear on him. Pushing myself up onto my tip toes, I placed a kiss upon his cheek, as if a reminder of my feelings for him.

            “Sounds like a wonderful idea.” His eyes turned to look upon me for a moment before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him. His coarse hand lifted my chin before pressing his lips against mine. Though he was rough with his intent, his own needs showed. “God I love you.” The words came as a simple whisper. His motives were revealed; it finally made sense why he’d come in search of me.

            Pulling my lips from his, I tipped my chin, no longer allowing him easy access knowing that should I, he would not allow me to speak but would once again capture them. “I love you too.” My mind was torn between so many different things, my passions for him and knowing that, as he said, in a few short hours, the alarm would ring, and he would shower and leave for another long day. “But you need sleep. I can only imagine how bad your make-up artist will complain if you come in with dark circles under your eyes cause you were up having sex.” It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, but the responsible side of me won out. “Soon, I promise.” I said allowing my forehead to slip against his shoulder and rest there. iIf this was a dream, I didn’t want it to end.

            As David sighed his breath tickled the back of my neck and I could only imagine the look that he was giving me. “That seems like an eternity from now.”

            Pulling myself from his grasp I let out a laugh as I started for the bedroom again. “And you think it’s any easier for me?” The truth was he had no idea what I was feeling, since I had tried to keep any interests I might have had in him before we’d met secret. Unfortunately though, it hadn’t been that simple. After all, how could any woman not be excited when she was asked out by the actor of her dreams?

            Crawling into bed I couldn’t help but sigh, the humidity was awful, I was used to it being hot back home but never this humid.

            “I think that it’s much harder on you, after all you’ve only been dreaming about it for a couple of years now.” David’s eyes danced and sparkled as the corners of his lips turned up revealing a grin. That was one of the hardest things for me, his playful nature about my feelings for him. Slipping into bed he peered at me waiting for my reaction, the playful smile never leaving his lips.

            Rolling my eyes I merely slipped onto my side, turning off the bedside lamp as I did. “Good Night David.” The words came as a simple whisper as I slipped a hand beneath the pillow. Many nights had been ended this way, and though I seemed pissed off at him, he knew that I was anything but. The alarm would ring; I’d roll over, offering a meek sleepy smile and company till he left, instead of going along with him as I had so many other mornings.

            The last thing I remembered was his arm dropping over me before I slipped into as peaceful a sleep as the heat would allow for.

***

            The alarm ringing and David’s growl as he rolled over to shut it off were the next thing that I remembered.

            “Morning to you too.” I opened an eye to look at him trying to adjust to the lighting in the room. My eyes burned, probably from lack of sleep but the poor lighting had something to do with it as well.

            “Go back to sleep.” David carefully placed a kiss upon my cheek. “I think one morning I can survive alone.”

            “Nah I’m fine.” I couldn’t help but offer a smile as I eyed him. “I’ll eventually go back to sleep after you leave anyways.”

            “You really ought to sleep now.” David’s green eyes peered at me as he propped himself up on one of his muscular arms. “I’ll leave money on the counter for you, in case you decide you’re going to the mall.  Of course you’re always welcome to go lay out by the pool, get some sun.”  
            It wasn’t that I didn’t love his protective nature but I could take care of myself. That much I was well aware of and I had thought that he was as well. “David, I’ll be fine.” I couldn’t help but offer a smile. “Honest, it’s not going to be that bad. It’s just a day by myself, not three months where we won’t see each other.”

            “I suppose you’re right, Stephanie.” His voice was wary as he spoke. I knew he meant no disrespect by it but I couldn’t help but wonder what made him so damn protective of me.

            Eyes traveled from the emerald eyes that dazzled me to chiseled torso, and back up again. This was the one man that had captured my heart and yet I still didn’t quite understand everything about him. Though that was normal I supposed, considering that we hadn’t even known each other very long. “I think I’m going to curl up, go to sleep and then I’ll probably hang out by the pool, maybe take a walk to the mall, see if I can’t find an awesome outfit.” I was bound and determined that I might be dating an actor, but I would live my life as normal as I could. As normal as we could.

            “Alright, good, then go back to sleep Steph.” David leaned down wrapping me within his arms for a moment as he brushed his lips across mine. I couldn’t help being mesmerized by the curl of biceps, the feel of his calloused fingers and the feel of his lips pressing against mine. It was hard not to feel the passion in which his lips held.

            Slowly pulling back from him, the grin that was plastered upon my lips wouldn’t go away no matter how hard I tried. “Go David.” My words were soft as I spoke, while I wanted to lay here with him forever, I knew he had to leave. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

            The sigh that slipped between his lips was hard to bare, I hated it when he was upset and yet, I had to hold out on him, be tough. “Alright, I’ll see you when I get home.” David pressed a final kiss to my lips before he slipped from the bed headed to take a shower.

            Snuggling back into bed, it felt empty without him, though I eventually slipped to sleep again. Perhaps, it wasn’t the most pleasant night’s sleep but it was sleep none the less.

***

            The sun’s warmth peeking through the blinds and falling upon my face and pillow was the next thing that I remembered.  The sigh that slipped between my lips was one that was unintentional but without David to awaken to, it was a natural reaction. Pushing myself from the bed, allowing my eyes to adjust to the sunlight, the alarm clocks red numbers glared back that it was already eleven, the latest that I had slept since arriving here.

            Pushing myself from the bed, I debated what to do with the rest of my day. Chances were that David would be late getting home from the set and that left me time to do whatever I wanted. A trip to the mall, a few hours out by the pool, just try and lay low for a little while. It wasn’t that I didn’t love being with David but I needed to be away right now.

            The walk to the mall was no more than two blocks and even in this heat, it wouldn’t be too bad.

It was odd how quiet the house sounded though. The silence was deafening. I was so used to David’s footsteps in the hallway. The sound of his laughter echoing off the walls and even the sound of the TV in the other room, it was odd to not hear any of them.

A quick shower later and I was ready to head out the door. Running through the mental check list, I tried to remember if I had forgotten anything. Purse, phone, money, house keys, there was probably something that I was forgetting but if so it wasn’t important. Pulling the door shut behind myself I was met by the heat again.

Thankfully over the last few days, David had shown me where things were. Of course, I was bound to get lost on one of these excursions but thankfully I knew that if I called David could get me where I needed to go. Of course there was always the possibility that he would be filming but I’d manage if that should be the case. I knew that David worried, and that was why he kept me so close but there was so much about my past that he didn’t know. If he knew half of it, he wouldn’t worry, because I had proven that I could deal with some of the worst things possible to humans.

Though, there were many of those situations that he would never know about, not because I didn’t trust him but for the reason that no one knew about it. No one would ever know about them. Pulling the door shut behind me I allowed a sigh to slip between my lips.   
 


	2. Chapter 2

Taking the sunglasses from my purse, I dropped them over my eyes. The sun was much brighter here then it had ever been back home. It would take adjusting but I’d manage it. Now where had David said that the mall was? This was one of the moments that I was glad that I navigated by landmarks because really, right now that was all I had. The phone in my purse buzzing brought me from my debate. “Hello?”

“Hey. I had a break so I figured I’d call and see what you were up to.” David sounded tired, but there wasn’t really a time that I could think of that he didn’t sound tired anymore. “You out lying by the pool?”

“No, actually I’m headed to the mall, if I can ever figure out where the mall is from here.” I was trying to figure it out on my own, I was bound and determined that I would not have to ask for directions from him. I could do this myself.  
            “Where are you at?” He wasn’t going to wait for me to ask for directions, he was going to offer them anyways.

“Just leaving the house. I know you told me how to do it, I just can’t remember which way I should be headed but I’ll figure it out.” I was bound and determined that I would do it myself, and I would make it even though I really wasn’t sure where I going.

“It’s to your left then.” David sighed.

“Why don’t you curl up and go to sleep. It’ll do you some good David.”

“No, it’s fine. You know, it’s kind of weird not to have you here.” The words cut into my core, I knew that he hadn’t meant them as they sounded, and yet I found myself returning to days where I was but a child whom my father often chastised.

“I am sorry.” The words came more naturally then they should at this point. It was hard not to revert back to the behaviors that I had learned as a child, even though I knew that David wasn’t anything like the man that I had called Dad.

“No, sorry I didn’t mean it that way. I just meant that I miss you I guess.” Poor David wasn’t even sure what he meant, which didn’t help me to figure it out as well.

***

The cool water had felt wonderful against my skin after a few hours strolling through the mall, and then the walk back. Now the sun’s rays lapping against my skin drying the tiny droplets of water from my skin felt wonderful.

“Stephanie?” David’s call broke me from the serene state that I was in, it was a surprise to hear him home so early.

“Out here.” I allowed my arm to drop from the deck chair I was laying in, adjusting to peek around the back of it.

Pushing open the glass patio door David stepped through it. “Rough day at the mall today? There didn’t look like there were many bags in the living room and there’s money left still.”

“There wasn’t really much that caught my attention. It was still a nice trip though; lunch was perhaps the best part though.” I loved watching people, so sitting in the eatery watching the many different types of people who wandered through had been an awesome experience for me.

“Glad you had fun. I see you’ve enjoyed the pool as well.” David slunk into the deck chair beside me, leaning back against it.

I was trying to contain a laugh, David almost dwarfed the chair that he was leaned against and yet he seemed to be very comfortable. I had always realized that he was much taller than I was but it was very obvious now. “Yea, the walk back was kind of warm so I thought that a swim would be nice. Hope you don’t mind that I didn’t wait for you.”

“No, you’re fine. I told you to make yourself at home and you’ve done just that.” A smile played at his lips as he looked at me. That was the annoying point of his sun glasses, I couldn’t see his eyes and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking behind them, like I could when I was able to see them.

“So you think I earned the privilege to stay home all by myself?” Of course I was only teasing, I hoped that the playful smile upon my lips would tell him that but I was prepared to have to explain it to him. Damn cultural differences, they certainly made life more interesting though.

“Hmmm well I don’t know, I really should find you a chaperone, who knows you might try and sneak in a strange man or something.” Of course David was teasing as well but he had quickly learned that with Stephanie it was tough to tell how she would react to anything.

“Well, with you appearing randomly like you did today that would be pretty risky now wouldn’t it.” The words were playful, I was glad that he was here, in fact it had been kind of lonely without him. Rolling over onto my stomach, I rolled my head to look at him. “Speaking of, what are you doing home so soon?”

“They cut me lose for the day so I figured I’d come see what you were up to. Maybe make you a quiet dinner, curl up and watch a movie, you know do that whole normal couple things.”

The words almost caused me to roll from the chair that I was laying in. “What do you mean?” I had never heard him refer to our relationship this way, it was strange for me.

“I know this hasn’t been easy for you. It’s hard enough for me to go to set every day, it cant be easy for you and even so, it cant be easy for you to live with.” David didn’t sound himself and that worried me. “You like it here don’t you Stephanie?”


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

“Of course I do. I’m still here aren’t I?” Pausing to stop and think about what I was saying, I sighed. “That didn’t come out like I meant it to. What I meant was if I wasn’t happy you’d know it by now.”

“So what sounds good for supper?” Maybe David had ignored what I said or maybe it was just his way of changing the topic.

“Well that depends, are you cooking or am I, cause I’ll be honest, I cant really cook.” I had never had to cook. Living at home, it had been someone else who normally cooked and when Cassidy and I had started living together she had cooked.

“I can cook, no problem. Just decide what sounds good because I could pretty much live on steak and veggies. Throw a little fruit in there and life is good.”

“Oooh, steak sounds amazing.” I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had had such a thing. In fact Cassidy and I had been living together we’d live on spaghetti-o’s and ramen noodles just trying to get by. We’d both been going to school, trying to suffer through to our degrees.

“You’d think that I had just offered you filet mignon or something.” David shook his head, reaching over to take one of my hands within his.

Sometimes I was amazed by how my life had turned out. This was one of them. Just a few months ago I had been dropping out of the program that I once loved and realizing that I had no idea what I really wanted to do with my life.

That was when David sauntered into my life. If it hadn’t been for Cassidy though, I never would have been where I was today.

We’d been at the mall, she’d finally convinced me that maybe a little retail therapy would help me to figure out what to do with my life. She’d dared me to ask David out, stating that if I could do that then I could do anything. Looking back on it now though, I was glad that she had. When I’d approached him, I was shaking but I hoped that he wouldn’t notice and the sighed of those beautiful eyes had brought me to a loss of words.

Somehow though I had managed to say something pathetic like “Would you go out with me?” When he’d said that he would I was convinced that it was a cruel joke. Eventually though I had given in and agreed to go and here we were eventually.

“Steph?” David was staring at me as if I had lost my mind.

“Huh?”

“I said how long have you been out here, you’re starting to look a little pink. Maybe we should go inside?” His concerned nature was a comfort for me, it was nice knowing someone gave a damn.

“About an hour now. I think I fell asleep for a bit though.” Reaching a hand up to touch my shoulder I knew that he was right, it was best to go inside. “The suns hell around here isn’t it?”

***

"Feeling better now?” David had settle in, in the living room after dinner and was now lying sprawled across the couch, feet propped up on the arm rest.

“A little. It still stings but the shower helped some. You going to make room for me on the couch?” Though I wasn’t sure that anything touching my skin would be very good, it was worth a try.

“Yea, come on.” Sliding over on the couch, he held an arm out allowing me to slip within it.”

“How was your day?” He had asked about mine, and yet he had not spoken of his at all.

“It was alright, you know how it is.” I knew that David loved what he did; no matter if he complained out of frustration, he still loved it. It was normal to feel this way after all, everyone eventually went through it.

“It’s amazing how quiet it gets when you’re not around.” I was used to living in the heart of a college campus, one of the busiest in the state and while we still lived in a busy part of town, it was nothing like it had been there. I hadn’t even met the neighbors yet, although David swore that there weren’t actually neighbors and if there were he hadn’t even met them in the few years that he’d been living there.

“Hence how you fell asleep and ended up sun burnt.”

“Ha, Ha, Ha.” Rolling over onto my stomach I sighed. It hurt, but I also knew that it was my own stupidity. “Isn’t my misery enough for you? Is there something more that you would like from me?”

“Easy Steph, I’m teasing.” His voice was quiet, hand playing at my hair though he pulled it away when I cringed.

“I know that. Sorry, guess I’m a little touchy right now. You aught to know, this happens more often then you think.  I end up sunburned on average ten or twelve times a year.”

“You know there’s this funny new invention it’s called sun screen, you put it on and that happens less often. Really though, until you’ve adjusted to the sun over here, I might suggest limited time in it. And my mother used to say that vinegar would help too. It’ll take the sting out of it for awhile at least, or so she said anyways.” The one thing that David always seemed capable of mastering was the look that I had gotten so used to getting. The look of concern that drifted through his eyes, his forehead scrunching before he leaned up to press a kiss to my lips. “You look tired.”

He was right, not only did I look it but I felt it right now. Which was strange because it hadn’t been a very long day, and yet I found myself feeling almost exhausted.

“Get some sleep Stephanie. I might suggest getting some water into you first though so that you don’t end up dehydrated.” Pushing himself up from where he was laying on the couch David set a hand in the small of my back, pulling it away quickly as I let out a cry. “Sorry.”

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

“It’s alright.” It stung, there was no denying that but I knew that he didn’t mean anything by it either. He hadn’t intended to cause me any pain even though that was what he had just done.

“You’re thinking about something, what is it?” I had to commend David, he had learned how to read me very quickly.

“Oh, it’s stupid.” I couldn’t help shrugging. It was a stupid reason to be upset at this point, there was nothing about it that he would understand and I knew that. I felt bad, but at some point I was going to have to get used to it.

“No really, what is it?” David watched intently, trying to decide if there was more to the story that I wasn’t sharing. “Nothing is ever stupid, we think it for a reason and I’m sure that this is no different.”

“I was just thinking that today is the day that Amanda, Cassidy, Katherine and I would normally go to a baseball game every year.” Shaking my head, I couldn’t help but sigh, that was something that no matter what, none of us ever missed and this year, this year I had finally missed it and I was a little bummed about it.

“You are all really close aren’t you?”

The question made me laugh. We were really close; in fact they were often times like my family since I hadn’t really ever truly had one before.

“Yea, Cassidy is my best friend, there is nothing that I can do to change that. Believe me I’ve tried a couple of times. Above that though, Cassidy’s family pretty much took me in as one of their own. My father and I never really had a relationship with one another, he’s in jail from what I hear, and mom was living away from home. One day she just walked out the door and never came back.” I sighed thinking about it. “I was all of sixteen and it was like no one gave a damn except for her family. We were great friends at the time and they made sure that I had what I needed. However, other than that, I was on my own. Even my mother’s family didn’t come looking for me.”

I had never told anyone, any of this and I wasn’t really sure why I was telling him either and yet it seemed to come pouring out from within. Tears streaked at my cheeks but I didn’t dare to brush them away, even though they stung from the salt within them.

“Stephanie…” David’s voice was quiet. “H-how…” He reached out to wrap me in his arms but thought twice of it; instead he took my hands within his trying to decide what to say.

“All I’m asking is that you don’t apologize.” Over the years many people had done exactly that and it annoyed me each time that they did it, there was nothing that they could have done so what good did apologizing do for me. It didn’t change what I had been through, and it certainly didn’t fix the scars that I had lived with. “It’s made me who I am today, and I wouldn’t change that for anything in the world.”

“So you haven’t seen your mother in ten years now?” The question was innocent enough and I couldn’t blame him for being curious, and yet I wasn’t sure if I was ready to tell him yet.

“No, after she walked out the door, she never came back. She called once but I wasn’t home, I just came home to a message on the answering machine. She didn’t leave a number; she didn’t say anything much really.” I couldn’t help wondering what she would think of me and the woman that I had turned into and yet, there was nothing that I could come up with. I had always thought that it was my fault that she had left but eventually that had waned as well, I couldn’t stand feeling indebted to her, like I had done something to deserve it.

“No, I wasn’t going to apologize. I wasn’t really sure what I was going to do. This is all so new to me and I don’t know what to do about it yet. I admire you for telling me though.” David offered a tiny smile as he looked at me, I knew that this had to be uncomfortable for him and I felt bad for that.

“Just be there, that’s all I can ask of you.” That wasn’t the only thing that I had ever been through but it had been one of the hardest things to endure. I would eventually hopefully tell him all of it but it would take a long time before I ever considered that. However, I hadn’t really intended to tell him about this part of it either and yet it had just come spilling out without a reason for it to.

***

“Morning Sunshine.” David’s voice was quiet as his eyes turned up from the book in front of him.

I was confused for a moment, the sun was up and yet, he was still home. “Morning….shouldn’t you be gone?”

“I can be if you’d like me to be, but I have the day off, so I figured maybe we’d do something. I’d say hit the beach but with a sunburn like that, that’s probably not a good idea.”

“Oh, no, no I didn’t mean that.” I hadn’t thought about the way that the words might be taken and I was beginning to regret that. “I just….you’re not normally here when I wake up is all.”

“Yea, I know. I knew what you meant. Cassidy called earlier.” There was no malice in his voice as he spoke which made me wonder what he was really thinking. Perhaps our conversation from the night before had changed his mind about her, even if he didn’t appreciate the fact that she called at the oddest hours.

“Oh?”

“She wanted to know how you were doing.” So he had talked to her as well. That could be both good and bad. What had they talked about? That was something that worried me.

“And?”

“And I told her that you had a sunburn and you were asleep.” David’s eyes ran over top of me. “What do you think I told her off or something?” I knew that he was teasing but it was a thought that had crossed my mind. 


	5. Chapter 5

“Well, did you really want me to be honest with you?” Biting at my lip, I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe it was what had truly happened.

“Yup. Honesty is always what I’m looking for Stephanie.” David shook his head as he looked at me as if he wasn’t sure why he had needed to answer the question to begin with.

“Then, yea. I would be kind of surprised to hear that you hadn’t told her off. I know you’re kind of disgusted with her and the fact that she calls all the time while I’m asleep.” My eyes turned to the bed; I couldn’t stand this part of my relationship. The part where we just didn’t know each other enough to know when the other one would actually do what, it was hard, that I knew but I would eventually get used to him I supposed.

“Actually, I told her that you were asleep and we talked for awhile about how she was worried about you and she wondered how you were adjusting.” David’s voice was calm as he spoke.

That sounded like Cassidy, she’d sell me out in a heart beat if she thought that it would mean that he might not be mad at her anymore. Yet, I couldn’t say that I blamed her, she and David had been on opposite sides of things, it would be good for them to meet in the middle now and then.

“And you told her?” I was curious what he had told her, only because I knew that Cassidy would bring it up when she called again. It was her way of confirming that he hadn’t led her on or told her something that wasn’t the full truth. Of course she didn’t need to worry about that with David, yet I couldn’t seem to convince her of that.

“Oh you know that I’ve been holding you hostage in a tiny little room for extended periods of time now, with no hope of escape.” David quirked a smile to prove that he was only teasing. “Alright, honestly, I told her that I thought that you were adjusting fine. You could use a refresher course on sleeping and sun screen but otherwise you were doing fine. My life isn’t exactly the easiest to live with; you’re alone a lot of the time, but that doesn’t seem to bother you. Of course, you’ve yet to experience the adoring fan girls which can be interesting so, maybe we haven’t crossed the biggest hump yet. Anyways, are you going to get a shower so that we can get out of the house or what?”

“Where are we going?” He had suggested the beach and then thought twice of it but he hadn’t suggested anything after that which made me wonder what it was that he really wanted to do.

“You’ll see later on. Go get a shower, and then we’ll be off.” The smirk upon his lips told me that he was up to no good and I couldn’t help wondering what he had planned. Yet there was only one way to find out, I supposed.

Pushing myself from the bed, I headed for the bathroom, trying to decide what to wear once I got out of the shower.

***

“Where are we?” David still hadn’t told me where we were going. He had simply told me to get in the car, once I was finally ready to go, and we had left.

This was a part of town that I wasn’t familiar with right now though, I was sure that he knew exactly where we were headed and that reassured me, but I wished that he would clue me in as well. It was tough to live in the dark like this but it was the way that our relationship so often worked.

“I told you, it’s a surprise.” David’s fingers flipped at the radio trying to find something that he deemed worthy of listening to. “You can deal with metal right?”

We’d had the same discussion several times now and the answer was always the same as it would be now. “Yes, I listen to metal, I see you still haven’t gone through my CD collection, really it’s a miracle that the Metallica one still plays after all of the abuse it’s gotten over the years.”

“Mmmm, that’s why I finally went to digital music, no components to wear out rather than the player.  Besides when have I had time to go through your CDs? I’m never home remember? Would you be a dear and plug my phone into the cable at your knee? There is obviously nothing worth listening to on.” I would have argued with him, half of what he had flipped through was decent music but it was his car and I would let him pick whatever we listened to. Taking the phone from the cup holder where he’d dropped it, I did as he had asked.

“Much better.” David grinned.

“So, you’re not even going to give me a hint as to where we’re going?” It was a little frustrating trying to figure it out but at the same time there was a kind of new thrill to it as well. I had always loved surprises as a kid and this was only a new type of surprise that I wasn’t used to yet and I would have to try and adjust to David and his mysterious ways once more.

“Sure I’ll give you a hint, the hint is that you’ll like where we’re going. Other than that, no I’m not telling your anything.” David’s face didn’t change as he spoke, his tone was almost flat as he spoke and I couldn’t help wondering if it was simply a façade or if he really was irritated. I could only imagine that it was the first but it was so hard to tell sometimes.

“Well, that’s a start I guess.” The words made me wonder. How could he be certain that I would like it? After all we had only known one another a short time, it wasn’t like he knew my life’s story, thankfully perhaps. 


	6. Chapter 6

“Just relax Stephanie.” David shook his head, a smile playing at his lips as he continued on. “I want you to be happy, to enjoy being here, just remember that and everything will be fine.”

“I-I’ve been thinking.”

The words made David’s brow furrow. “What’s the matter? Did I do something? I mean, shit if I did something, please tell me that and I will gladly find a way to make it up to you.”

“No, it’s nothing like that. It’s more about what you said earlier that I was thinking about I guess.” My voice was quiet as I spoke. I wasn’t sure how to tell him this just yet. It was a topic that I wasn’t sure how to breach with him. Yet, I had already started it which meant that I might as well go the extra distance and tell him what exactly was on my mind.

“I said a lot this morning, can you narrow down for me which part you’re talking about?” David could be such a smart ass sometimes and there were times when I didn’t know exactly how to take it, this was one of them. I wasn’t sure how to take what he had said.

“The part where you said I’ve yet to meet the fan girls. They aren’t going to like me are they?” It was something that I had been mauling around all day now and I couldn’t help wondering what it would mean.

“There’s some of them that probably wont, but there’s a lot of them that are pretty cool. Either way, it’s not going to matter, I will show you off to the world. That is if you’re alright with that, my life isn’t easy, I know that it’s not easy to love me but as I’ve said before, I truly do care for you. However, I understand how it could be too much for you too. Whatever you decide Stephanie, I’m always going to be here.” The words were a whisper as he spoke them. It was hard for him to say them that much was easy to see.

Much as he had, I was beginning to realize that I was falling for him, harder and harder with each day that passed. If it wasn’t for David though, I didn’t know where I would be right now. It seemed like it was ridiculous to say but it was true, David was the one who had reminded me that being me was really like and I truly appreciated that. In a way, I would never be able to repay him for that, which made me feel indebted to him for everything that he had done. “I want to be with you, I’m not sure what that means just yet. I’m starting to understand that your life is anything but easy and I want to be there with you, I want to be with you no matter what that means.”

“Get used to seeing yourself in magazines then because you’ll be seeing a lot of it. It’s advice that I wished that someone would have given me.” David made sense as he spoke this time. Taking the words into actual account, I knew that he was right, there was much to get used to yet. “I’ll try and protect you in any way that I can and I understand if at any point you want to walk away because it becomes too much.”

“Let’s just have fun today hey?” I knew that I had started this conversation but I also didn’t want to ruin the day for David knowing how hard he had worked to try and come up with something to do.

“Sounds like a good idea.”

***

“So now will you tell me why we’re here?” Leaning against the car, I couldn’t help but lick at my lips. It was tough to imagine what he could have planned. We had been driving for nearly an hour now and it was a neighborhood that didn’t look familiar to me. Compared to the one that David lived in, it was a rather small part of town. It didn’t seem like somewhere that anyone would find him, and yet he seemed comfortable here, as if he had been here before.

“No, I’d much rather show you. You trust me don’t you?” David’s voice was quiet as he spoke. They were words that I was going to ignore, pretend as if he hadn’t asked them because it was very obvious that I did. After all why would a person move to a completely new country with someone they obviously didn’t trust?

“Of course I do. What kind of question is that?” I watched him as he walked around the car, the careful placement of his steps, the easy laid back gait, all of the many things that I had originally fallen so hard for. Realizing how sharp the words sounded though I paused. “I mean to say, why wouldn’t I?”

“I just wanted to be sure.” It amazed me how his hand dwarfed mine as he took it within his own. “I often hide out in this side of town when I don’t feel like being recognized but I don’t feel like being at home either. I’m sure that eventually even this wont help but for now it’s nice.”

“How could anyone not know who you are?” Of course I was only teasing but it was hard to believe such a thing. Walking beside him was easy, even despite the fact that he held an easy seven inches on me. Yet, I allowed him to lead me along; he knew where he wanted to go. Though, each part of me was excited to find out what he had planned.

“Believe it or not it doesn’t happen very often. It’s a lot worse when I’m in the States. Anyways, here we are.” He paused outside of a tiny store; the windows piled high with books of every shape, size and color.


	7. Chapter 7

“I-I don’t understand.” Pausing as I looked up at him, confusion written in my face as I did.

“Well, it was kind of hard to not notice the book collection that you moved in.” A smile played at David’s lips as he looked down at me. “And I’m sure that you’ve noticed mine, which you’re free to browse as you please. I just, I dunno. I thought it was something that you might enjoy.” For the first time I could remember he seemed so sure of what he was saying, normally he backed down trying to make sure that I was happy.

“I-I…” I couldn’t find the words to speak what I was thinking. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” David offered a grin pulling his hand from within mine to pull open the door. “Enjoy, I really think that you’ll love it.”

Slipping into store I was a little overwhelmed, there were several floor to ceiling shelves, I had seen libraries with fewer books, including the one back home. “O-oh my…”

David’s chuckle behind me brought me back to reality. “Take your time Stephanie.” I couldn’t help wondering if he had seen the sparkle in my eyes.

***

“Did you have fun?” David laughed slinking into a park bench under the tree.

“I-I…” I was still a little overwhelmed by the whole idea. “Yea, thank you.”

“No problem. So, tell me about yourself, I mean where did you grow up, what is it that you enjoy doing? There’s so much that I don’t really know about you.” David carefully wrapped an arm around me, trying his hardest not to press against the sunburn.

“What do you want to know?” There was a lot about me that he didn’t know, some of it which I wouldn’t tell him, but the rest of it I would be more than willing to tell him. Leaning against his shoulder, I leaned my head up to look up at him.

“Well let’s see here. How about, what do you for fun? I mean when you’re not out burning your skin in the sun or at the mall.” There was a playful smile upon his lips as he looked back at me leaning down to press a kiss to my lips.

“Well, I’ve been dancing for years now. I love to read, I love music and singing, hmmmm yea the malls nice and swimming isn’t bad either.” I was trying to think of what else there was. “I write and I think that’s probably about it.”

“You dance? Trained dancing or out at the club dancing?” It was something that I hadn’t stopped to consider but I probably should have been more specific.

“Both, but I have years of training. I was twelve when I gave up classical dancing but when I was in high school I started dancing again, but I hate classical. It’s boring.” It was true, I was bored to death with classical dance, it was probably why I had quit in the first place. “But I haven’t been able to find a studio to take me on for that reason. Most of them don’t understand that there’s so much more out there.”

“I’d love to see one day. That is if you’re willing to show me.”

“Yea, yea. I’d just need a little bit of time to put something together. Maybe tomorrow I’ll put something together.”  It was a thought but I had never danced for anyone other than my friends lately which was my downfall. It was true; I would be concerned about performing in front of anyone other than them.

“So if you aren’t into the classical thing what’s your favorite thing to dance to?” It was something that confused a lot of people, if I didn’t appreciate the traditional style of dance then what could I possibly do?

“I’ve danced to almost everything over the years, including hard rock and metal, which is something that is really hard to imagine I know. It’s actually not as hard as you think it is. It’s a lot of fun really and it’s not tough either once you figure out what you’re doing.” I was pretty sure that David had no idea what I was talking about but he was intently listening as I spoke.

“Sounds interesting.” He offered a smile. “You happy where you are or would you like to go home?”

“Honestly? It’s kind of nice here. It reminds me of home.” No matter how much I would deny it, I was experiencing a bit of home sickness. I had never been this far away from my friends for this long before, they were like my family after all and it was tough.

“You miss it huh?” It didn’t seem like a question when he asked it though, it was almost a statement that he had made.

“Yea, I do. I miss the people, the sights, the sounds, the things that you get used to. I mean, I’ll get used to being here, it’ll take a little bit but, I’ll get used to it.” I was bound and determined that I would make it work. If not for me then for him, because I really wanted to make things work between us and if this was how I had to do it then that was exactly what I would do.

“You don’t have to stay you know. You’re welcome to go home if that’s really what you want.”

Settling in against his shoulder, I allowed a sigh to slip between my lips. “That isn’t what I want. Yes, I miss them but there are ways to get around that too. I want to be here with you.” After all there were things like Skype to help to ease the pain. Of course it was nothing like being there but it was a face to face conversation and would allow me to see what was really going on rather than what they wished me to know. 


	8. Chapter 8

“How about we get you home, and see if we can’t find something in the fridge to eat.” David’s voice was quiet and reluctant sounding as he spoke but even I had to admit that it was getting late and he was right, we probably should be getting home soon. “Are you going to go with me tomorrow?”

“No, I think I’m going to hang around the house, maybe finally get somethings unpacked since the boxes have been sitting here for a couple of weeks now.” I couldn’t help laughing as I pushed myself from where I sat, holding a hand out to him. Though I was reluctant to leave his arms, I was trying not to let it show.

***

“So you really like him huh?” Cassidy grinned back from the computer screen, the teasing in her eyes evident as she spoke.

“Is it that obvious?” I knew the answer well enough, it was incredibly obvious but I figured that she would figure it out if it wasn’t.

“Oh yea. So we going to end up in trouble if we talk about him?” The teasing smile on her lips told me that she was up to no good.

“Nah, he went to bed. Why what is it that you want to talk about?” Knowing my best friend that was a dangerous question to ask but I was willing to ask anyways.

“He seems like he’s pretty decent, I just wondered what you thought other than he’s amazing. I mean, I know you’ve dated a lot of guys over the years that seemed amazing and then come to find out, they weren’t so amazing and you hated them. I guess I’m a little worried about you is all Steph. This all seems like it’s a little, fast.” This was part of the reason that I loved Cassidy, she was willing to do anything and she meant anything when it came to me. She was like my sister and that was a hard pill to swallow sometimes because she could definitely be a little over protective.

“It is kind of soon.” I sighed knowing her anxiety about the subject but David wasn’t like anyone else I had dated before. “But, he’s different Cass. I mean, yea he can be a little protective but he’s not controlling, he’s not abusive, he’s….there’s so many words I could use to describe him.”

“I get it Steph, he’s not your type, or your normal type or whatever it is you’re trying to say exactly but what I’m saying is, be safe.”

I grimaced at the words alone, how could she possibly think that I would do anything but? The words alone hurt, just thinking about them annoyed me. It was as if she thought that I had intentionally chosen them or something.

“Yea, whatever. Listen I think I’m going to go to bed, it’s getting late and I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow.” Sure, she could probably see through that excuse but that was what I was going to use. In a way it was kind of true, I did have a lot to do the next day, I was living out of boxes and this was beginning to drive me nuts. It took forever to find something to wear and even longer to try and find something when I needed it. It was time to end this.

“Alright. We’ll talk tomorrow.” The tone of her voice told me that this wasn’t over, not by a long shot but I was going to avoid it as long as possible.

“Yep. See you tomorrow.” Shutting Skype down I allowed a sigh to slip between my lips. We weren’t going to open this can of worms, not now, not ever. The past was the past, and I wasn’t that girl anymore, nor was I going to go back to it. Not even for Cassidy, and by now I would have thought that she knew that.

Pushing myself from the couch, I set the computer on the coffee table, glad that I had the sense to find something to sleep in ahead of time. At least that way I wouldn’t wake David up trying to figure out which box everything was in.

Getting changed I finally crawled into bed beside him, trying my hardest not to wake him up.

“How’s Cassidy?” The sleep dripped from David’s voice as he spoke, reaching out to wrap an arm around me.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” It was a lie, I did want to talk about it but not with him. There was too much that I would have to explain in order for him to understand the situation and most of it, I didn’t want him to ever know.

            “That sounds like maybe you’re fighting.” David snuggled in closer to me. “How about you tell me what happened?”

“I really don’t want to talk about it.” I wasn’t going to tell him, no matter how hard he pressed; I just wasn’t going to do it. There were parts of my life, that he never needed to know about, this was on that list. He didn’t need to know about the men who had treated her like she was worthless, the ones who had beaten her for being the amazing wonderful her and the ones who were drunks. Cassidy had been right, David wasn’t my normal type by far but I was happy and damn it, I was going to leave the rest of them in the past where they belonged. “Lets just get some sleep.”

“Alright but if this is really bothering you, you’ll tell me about it right?”

“Yea, of course.” Curling up against him, I closed my eyes; I hadn’t exactly lied to him. It wasn’t bothering me, or at least not right now anyways. Yet I knew that it was probably something that he needed to know. Eventually, I thought to myself, sometime in the future maybe I would tell him but not right now because if I was to tell him now, there was a better chance of scaring him off and that was the last thing that I needed to do. 


	9. Chapter 9

“Then we’ll talk about it in the morning.” David offered yawning as he spoke.

***

“So you’re sure that you don’t want to come with me?” I was sitting in the middle of the bedroom surrounded by boxes as David spoke. I was sure that he was surprised when I woke up with him and yet I wasn’t going with him which must have left him even more confused I was sure.

“Positive. I told you, I should get unpacked. I’m tired of trying to dig something out a box to wear, and I should probably get some laundry done too. You do own a washer and drier right?” Quirking a grin I hoped that he would realize that I was teasing.

“Yea, I’m pretty sure I do, I mean I’ve never actually used them but they’re there. Maybe some day you can explain this extremely hard task to me.” Obviously he had caught on to the teasing nature and he was returning it two fold now.

“Oh, good. By the time you get home tonight I’ll have the house put back together again and depending on when I might even have dinner made.”

“A regular Susie home maker huh?” David offered a grin as he looked at me. In truth, the house wasn’t a mess, it was far from it. Really I was a little surprised by it, David was always complaining about how he hardly spent enough time at home and yet it was nearly immaculate most of the time.

“Hardly. Go shower.” Flicking my wrist to send him away, I shook my head. “You’re going to be late.”

“You’re sure that you’re going to be alright all by yourself?”

“David!” I couldn’t help but laugh as I watched him. “I’ll be fine now go get a shower.”

“Alright, Alright.” He grumbled heading into the bathroom. “What the hell did you do in here? How many different shampoos can you have?”

The laughter that followed his words told me he wasn’t upset. It was true that I did have a ton of lotions, shampoos and other skin care products but knowing that he didn’t mind was refreshing. “The apple one smells awesome if you’d like to borrow it.”

“Uh, thanks but no thanks. I appreciate the offer but I’m pretty sure if I show up smelling like an apple, someone will at some point crack a joke. I’ll take that into consideration though just incase you know, I ever need to know.”

I bit back a retort as I heard the water start. I adored him but I couldn’t help wondering what was going on in his head. “Next thing I know you’ll be trying to wear my Uggs.” I muttered probably loud enough that he could hear me but I wasn’t worried about it.

“If they look anything like mine that’s a possibility.” David called in return causing me to laugh. Wonderful now I was going to have to make personalized tags so he knew which boots were his too. Of course having come from a cold climate I owned about nine pair of the darn things. They were amazing in snow, once they had been water proofed of course. Moving into the closet I couldn’t help but sigh. I wasn’t sure how to make this work, I couldn’t decide if David actually had an organizational system or not.  I had to imagine that he did but what it was didn’t make sense to me and in fact, only half of the closet was really being used which was nice because I could fill in the other half in whatever shape I wanted. I couldn’t help wondering if that was planned. Yet I knew better.

“Make yourself at home.” David’s voice made me jump, as he spooked me from my thoughts. “Sorry, I shouldn’t sneak up on you like that.” Well at least he realized that he had caused me to jump, that was a start I supposed. “Would you hand me the teal button down please?”

“Sure, I can do that.” Grabbing the shirt I held it out to him mesmerized by the being that stood before me in a pair of jeans towel drying at his hair.

“Yea, I know. I need to hit the gym.” David grinned taking the shirt from me before he pulled it on. “Make yourself at home. If you need more room feel free to take over the closet. There’s probably a couple of open drawers too if you want for shirts and such.”

“Thanks but that’s what the chest is for.” I was sure that he probably remembered the chest well since he had fallen over it twice now yet he swore it wasn’t in the way. Of course I didn’t really believe him and would move it at some point today even though it would be a trying thing to do. In truth the damn thing was almost as big as I was and it was just as heavy as I was. Yet, it was all I really had left of my family and I couldnt imagine parting with it when I’d moved here and David had insisted that I should move whatever I wanted to. Yet there was still a few things I had to get Cassidy to ship to me, once we were talking to one another of course.  “As for needing to head to the gym, I don’t think so.”

“Awww, I knew I liked you for something.” David quirked one of his patented grins, emerald eyes lighting up as he spoke. “Alright, you’re sure that you’re going to be fine?” I was beginning to think that maybe he had a short term memory. Hadnt we just had this conversation?

“Yes, I’ll be fine David.” I couldn’t help but sigh as I looked at him, rolling my eyes as I spoke. “I’ll probably just be finishing unpacking when you get back anyways.” That or I’d be finishing folding laundry and getting it put away, depending on how far I’d gotten.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my sweet astolenmoonlight. Thank you for your support and love :)

“You aught to call Cassidy and work out whatever it is that’s bothering you too.” Leave it to David to remember such a thing, I was hoping that maybe he’d forgotten but of course I hadn’t gotten that lucky.

“Maybe, it’s kind of late there so maybe I’ll wait till tomorrow and do it.” Returning to hanging clothes for a minute I paused turning to look at him. “Why don’t you like her?” It was a question that I had been mulling around most of the night and I just couldn’t figure it out.

“I don’t hate her.” David looked confused as he leaned his tall body against the door frame as he watched me, as if he was trying to figure out what had made me think such. “I just think she’s a little controlling and she certainly hasn’t given me a chance before she’s told me off. If I recall right it was her idea that you ask me out to begin with so I’m a little confused as to why she’s upset that you did and that you’re happy. I just don’t get it.”

“She’s just worried that’s all.” Turning away from him I went back to what I had been doing, I couldn’t bear to face him, to look him in the eyes and not tell him the rest of it. I knew that I had to eventually but this just wasn’t the time. “Like I said she’s almost my sister so she’s a little over protective at times. She’ll warm up to you once she sees what I do, how amazing you are.”

“We’ll see I guess.” David shrugged and the rustling behind me told me he was finishing getting ready. “Alright, I’m off. Call if you need anything, or you get bored or whatever.”

“Will do.” This was driving me nuts, I had to tell him, now wasn’t the time but I certainly had to tell him and soon. Cassidy had been right and I was beginning to see that even though I didn’t want to admit it, and certainly not to her.

“Love you?” The words caused me to spin around horrified by the way his voice sounded, the confusion in his voice evident.

“Sorry, guess I’m not myself this morning. We’ll talk about it tonight.” Biting at my lip I sighed as I looked at him. “It’s nothing you did, I swear.”

“I’ll call when I get the chance.” David leaned down pressing a kiss at my cheek but it showed that he was still confused and that he didn’t seem to believe me.

Reaching out I grabbed at his hand. “I swear to you, this has nothing to do with you. I wish we had time now to talk about it but we don’t.”

“I can call on my way?”

“I guess that’s fine.” It wasn’t the way that I wanted to do it but if I had to do it that way then I would. “Love you.”

“Love ya Steph.” There was something in his voice that told me he wasn’t certain in the idea right now and that hurt. His footsteps in the hallway made me want to cry, I had fucked up again. This had to be the worst I had managed to screw it up yet though. The tears were hot against my cheeks as I sank to the floor, not caring that it was a closet.

Finally pulling myself together, I moved back into the bedroom picking up my phone and dialing David’s number I waited, hoping that he wasn’t pissed off. I couldn’t stand the thought of loosing him.

“Yea Stephanie?” He sounded calmer but it was obvious that he was still confused as he spoke, and I couldn’t blame him, my behavior hadn’t exactly been the least confusing.

“Do you feel like talking?” It only made sense to allow him to decide, I knew what I had to do and no matter the time that wasn’t going to change.

“No, I think the real question here is do you feel like talking Stephanie. I’ll listen if you want to discuss whatever the hell it is that’s bothering you but we can’t make this work if you wont let me in on what you’re thinking. This started last night when you came to bed, you said you were fine but you betrayed yourself on that one.”

“I don’t like talking about it, there’s a lot of my life that I’d like to change and I swear to you, you did nothing wrong.” Taking a deep breath, I felt the tears start again. How was I ever going to get through this if I couldn’t even get through this?

“It doesn’t have to be all over night, I just want to know that you’re alright.” David’s voice softened, his concern showing and I was glad not to be able to see his face for the first time. If I thought the tears were hard to fight now, they would have only been worse if I could.

“You asked why Cassidy doesn’t like you. It’s not that she doesn’t like you; it’s that she’s worried about me. Over the years I’ve dated some guys who aren’t exactly the best for me.” Taking a deep breath I tried to decide how to continue on knowing that he was going to want more details. “I’m sure that the way that I grew up didn’t have the best effects on my relationships and I was seeing guys who were all around bad for me. They started out as nice enough guys but eventually they ended up being alcoholics, drug dealers, abusers, rapists…” This was something that I had never admitted to anyone but Cassidy and I couldn’t believe that I was telling David, but if I wanted things to work between us, I had to. In fact if I didn’t then I was liable to lose him, and that was a thought that I couldn’t bear.

“And she’s afraid that we’re moving too quickly and she’s afraid that I’m going to end up just like the rest of them.” I was having trouble telling if he was being sarcastic, hurt or if he was serious.

“After the last guy that I dated, yea.” The sigh that slipped between my lips was more audible then I had intended for. “Look it’s not anything you did, anything you said, not even the way you looked. She’s just worried about me.”

“I’m not going to do that to you Stephanie.” The words killed me, he didn’t have to say them, I knew that already but he still felt that he needed to, a fact that killed me.

“I know that. But like I said, she’s like my sister, she worries and after what I’ve put her though, I can’t say that I blame her.” It was true that I had gotten into my fair share of trouble when it came to the guys that I dated and so I could understand her reluctance to accept him, even though I knew he wouldn’t do such a thing.

“Are you going to tell me about them?” I could only imagine that he meant my exes and that was something that I wasn’t sure that I was comfortable talking about yet. It was a question that he had asked and yet he deserved an honest answer to the question.

“Which one do you want to hear about?”

“Which ever you’re comfortable talking about. You don’t have to tell me about all of them right now. Maybe at some point but not today, unless you want to.” The words were comforting as he spoke but I didn’t know if I could do it still.

“Well, I guess the one to be most concerned about is the drug dealer.” Taking a deep breath I sighed. I wasn’t going to really admit to this part of my past was I? “We met through a mutual desire I guess.”

“What mutual desire could you possibly have with a drug dealer?” David stopped himself from pushing further. “Oh god, you weren’t really?”

“Uh, yea. I was an addict for a couple of years.” I sighed taking a deep breath as I thought about it, hoping that it wouldn’t change his opinion of me any. “Well, am really, it’s not something that you wake up one day and it’s not there anymore. There are still days that I fight it.”

“To what? I mean…” It was obvious that David wasn’t sure what to say to this.

“It’s alright. I’m ok talking about it now.” I tried to make him feel a little more at ease but I was pretty sure that there was no getting completely over it. “I was going through a rough patch in my life, I’d broken my foot and I was taking pain pills to get through it. Eventually the pain got worse, or well I thought that it did anyways. Unfortunately though it was that I was becoming addicted to them.  That’s how I met Tyrone. He was….hell he was my dealer but he was sweet, he wanted to make everything better but he didn’t care about me, he was just in it for the money.” It had taken me a long time to realize it but that was the truth.

“So, how did you finally quit?”

“It wasn’t easy. But without Cassidy, I’d have never made it. I still have days where I want to give up and just drown it all in a cocktail of who knows what pills just as long as I get high but I cant help remembering what almost dieing was like.” It was true, some days I wanted to give up, but somehow I always managed to through it.


	11. Chapter 11

“Stephanie, are you sure you want to be alone? I can send someone to get you, it’s really no problem.” I couldn’t help the tears that were starting to form in my eyes now at his concern. It was hard to believe but after what I had just admitted to, he was still worried about me. “I’ll help you unpack tonight and we can talk if that’s what you want.”

“I’ll be fine. “ Thinking about it realistically, either way I was going to be alone and I was comfortable here, it wouldn’t be as bad as he was trying to make it out to be.

“You’re sure that you’re going to be alright?” I knew that he was only trying to make me feel better but more than anything, it was annoying.

“I’ll be fine David.” Even Cassidy left me alone which to me seemed like it meant that he could as well. Convincing him of that might take some time but I was sure that eventually I would be able to convince him.

“Alright.” It was obvious that though he didn’t necessarily believe what I was saying, he would allow me the freedom to make that decision myself. “Happy unpacking Steph, I’ll call you later on.”

“K. Try not to overwork yourself darling.” I could only imagine that it would be a long day for him. “I’m kind of considering slipping into the pool later on and try and relax a little.”

“Hmmm….sounds like fun. How do you feel about zoos?” It was hard to tell if he was joking or not and I couldn’t decide how to answer him.

“I love them, why?” I decided not to tell him that he was supposed to be getting off the phone and let him ramble for a few more minutes before I let him go.

“Well I thought tomorrow I’d take you to the zoo, get out of the house, but then I realized that I had no idea how you felt about them and maybe the Swan Ballet would be more fun.” David chuckled as he spoke the last part. Obviously he had been listening when I mentioned that I hated classical dancing.

“Actually I’ve seen it, well if you can count sleeping through it that is. I saw parts of it, when Cassidy nudged me and insisted that I had to see something. Incase you’re curious, there was nothing about them that I needed to see. So I guess the zoo it is, unless your heart is set on the Ballet.” Rolling my eyes I prayed that he wasn’t really serious about going, I had suffered through it once, I wasn’t sure if I could do it again.

“Sounds good. Now go, I’m going to find something to eat and then it’s back to unpacking.”

“Sunscreen before you go out to play in the pool.” David’s voice was playful as he spoke but he was serious at the same time. His concern made me smile, for once in my life it was genuine.

This wasn’t the ass hole that I had dated who would tell me what to do, tell me how to do it and when. In fact I remembered a night where I was getting ready to move out of my apartment. I’d been out sitting on the hill, thinking about all the good times that had been spent there and he stormed out berating me for making him worry and in front of our neighbors he had told me what a useless worthless whore I truly was. Yet when he was done, and he saw my tears, he’d held me and told me that he was sorry and he hoped that I was going to be alright.

It had been one of the worst experiences of my life but David was nothing like that. He was actually concerned about me. That was a feeling that I wasn’t used to but I was beginning to find that I liked it and could get used to it.

“I’ll see you later baby doll.” David offered and I felt amazing knowing that he was feeling better knowing at least part of my past, the rest we would get to eventually but O wasn’t sure that it wouldn’t scare him off.

***

“I’m still awake.” I was lying curled up on the bed when David attempted to slip into the room to find something to sleep in. If I knew him, he would be found sleeping on the couch the next morning, having not come to bed because he was worried that crawling in would wake me.

“What are you doing up?” It wasn’t unusual for him to call and say that he was going to be late coming home and yet he wondered what I was doing up. Sometimes I wanted to throw something at him at how obvious it could be.

“Not sleeping. Actually I was thinking.” Offering a shrug, I moved on the bed to look at him. “Plus, I don’t sleep so well when you aren’t here so I just decided that I’d wait up for you.”

“Thinking? About?” David’s eyebrow’s rose as he looked down at me, concern showing on his face.

“Everything we talked about I guess.” The words were a whisper as my eyes turned to the ceiling. “Just brought back a lot of memories and I cant say that I’ve thought about them recently, so it’s been interesting. I did get unpacked today though so that’s a start. Well, other than the books but there wasn’t room for them in the library so I left them in the boxes but I’ll figure something out for them eventually.”

“I’ll get another bookshelf and we’ll be fine.” David laughed sinking to the edge of the bed, taking my hand into his. “As for this morning, it doesn’t change anything. Who you used to be is nothing compared to the woman that is sitting here with me now. So unless you have six kids hidden away somewhere and a family that no one knows about, I think we’ll be fine, no matter what happens.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Mmm no it’s only two kids and they’re not going to be any hassle at all.” I yawned curling up against the pillow again.

“Go to sleep Stephanie, I’m going to get a shower and then I’ll come crawl in bed with you.”

“Mmm.” Was all I could mutter crawling under the sheet and curling up with the pillow. “I wont promise sleep before you get back but I will promise I wont have moved.”

Leaning down David pressed a kiss to my temple, the feel of his lips against the soft skin sent shivers through me.

***

My terrified shriek rang out through the room. The dream that I’d been having had turned into a nightmare with such a tragic ending. Yet as my eyes began to focus, gasping for air, tears stinging at my chest.

“Stephanie, come here baby, what’s the matter?” David’s arms curled around me, pulling me close, sleep hanging in his voice. “You’re safe, I wont let anything happen to you.”  Gentle fingers rubbed at my back as he held me close.

Pressing my cheek against his shoulder, I tried to regain my composer but all that ended up coming out were sniffles.

“Shhh, you’re alright. Tell me about it.”

Shaking my head vigorously, eyes pressed tightly closed, I couldn’t find the words to tell him that I really didn’t want to talk about it. In fact I couldn’t find the words to explain what had happened in the dream.

“Ok, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” The words were gentle as his hand continued to make small circles on my back.

We lay there in silence for a long while like that. The quiet of the house was soothing as I lay there and yet it was uncomfortable as well. I wanted to tell him what had happened, and yet, I didn’t want to talk about it. There had to be a better way to deal with this and yet, I couldn’t find a way to talk about it.

“I’m sorry.” The words were meek as I spoke them. I didn’t know what else to say. Should I apologize, should I not, what was I supposed to do about the situation.

“Hey, you never have to apologize. No matter what happens, don’t ever feel like you have to apologize to me, if you want to talk about it, then we can. If not though, just get some sleep.” David’s fingertips ran through my hair before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “I promise I’ll never let anything hurt you, you’re safe.”

“Thank you.” The words were a whisper as I curled within his arms, head resting upon his shoulder. There was something soothing about the sound of his heart, and eventually I drifted back off to sleep.

***

“Oh, it looks like a teddy bear!”

“That’s a Koloa bear Steph. Haven’t you seen one before?” David was trying not laugh as he rested his head upon the top of my head.  Sometimes it amazed me how much taller than me he really was, and yet in this moment, it set in.

“Never one that tiny. All I’ve ever seen are the adults; they always look so cute and so cuddly.”

That morning David had insisted that we should go to zoo and I had given in and agreed to go. Now though I was glad that I did, there was nothing like cute fuzzy baby animals to make a person feel better about things. Of course first we had to stop for coffee first but even that was a stop that I didn’t mind making if it made him happy, especially after I had kept him up half of the night.

“They aren’t cuddly, in fact, they’ll probably rip your face off if you try to cuddle them. Unless they’ve been brought up with humans and then they aren’t so bad.”

“So you’re suggesting that I shouldn’t get one for you for your birthday?” A smile played at my lips as I turned to look up at him.  
            “No thanks. I’d take a cute little kitty but no, no Koloa bears necessary. So do you have a favorite animal?” This was a side of David that I would never get used to. He was playful and curious, always wanting to get to know me better, asking questions such as this. There was so much that we didn’t know about one another that sometimes I wondered how we managed to keep it together.

“I love big cats. Cheetahs, Lions, Tigers. I think that the Siberian Tiger is probably my favorite though. They’re so pretty. I have pictures somewhere of my mother and I with one when I was younger.” Pausing at the thought I shook away the memory. My mother had decided that she wanted nothing to do with me and I had to live with that every day, but that didn’t mean I had to dwell on it.


	13. Chapter 13

“Well come on then.” David laughed pulling at my hand. “Let’s go and find the cats.”

“I thought you wanted to take things slow? Enjoy your day off? Huh?” I couldn’t help the grin that had formed upon my lips as I spoke. They had been David’s words that morning as he’d sipped from the coffee cup, seeming in utter bliss.

“Come on!” David sighed pulling harder at my hand as he moved. “You’re supposed to be having fun remember?”

“I am having fun.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Now slow down, you already walk faster than I do, much less this.”

“Oh, right.” David couldn’t help but laugh pausing to let me catch up to him, before he walked at my side. “So listen I have an event to attend this weekend, I was wondering if you’d go with me. I understand if you don’t want to but it’s up to you. Nothing real fancy, just a little charity work and I know how you feel about social sciences and helping people and I just thought….”

“No, no, it sounds like fun.” I had known that when I started seeing David, it would mean compromise and this was probably one of those and I was beginning to get used to it oddly enough.

“You’re sure? You don’t have to, I mean everyone would be thrilled to see you I’m sure but if you don’t feel comfortable, I understand.”

“No, I’d really like to do it.” It was a tough choice to make. While I was still getting used to his friends, his co-stars, hell his family really, there was a part of me that was still afraid to put myself out there. Yet for him, it seemed like a sacrifice that I could make.

I had never been the popular girl, it had just been me, Cassidy, Katherine and Amanda. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Katie or Cara or even Evelyn but I was afraid to put myself out there once more. What if they didn’t like me? Or worse yet what if I had gotten attached to them and they learned of my past and that wasn’t the type of person they were looking for? That kind of loss would be devastating all over again and I couldn’t imagine what kind of problems it would cause for David. It was simply easier to keep to myself, which didn’t mean that I got a little lonely from time to time.

“Karen and Cara want to take you out shopping.” David offered a weak smile as he looked down at me. It was obvious that he was trying to make me feel welcome and I couldn’t want to let him down. “I think they’ve kind of missed having you around the set.”

“It’s a nice gesture and all but I just…” I paused to think about it for a minute, what was I going to say? How was I going to explain it?

“Is this about what you told me?” He paused mid step to turn to look at me. “I told you, the past is the past. They aren’t going to cared anymore than I do. Give them a chance Stephanie, you can’t go it alone anymore.” His lips pressed together as he looked at me. “I know you miss Cassidy, and nothing will ever change that she’s your best friend, you know that. Just let them be your friend, that’s all you can do. I’ve known them both a year now and I promise you, they aren’t looking to hurt you.”

“I didn’t say that they were.” The words were quietly spoken as I eyed him. “I just…” I wished that I knew what to say and how to say it but there was nothing that had formed in my head that sounded even remotely as I wished to say it. “It’s hard to make new friends when you have a past like mine. It’s not even that I don’t trust them, sometimes I wish it was that.  It’s just, after you’ve been hurt enough times, you stop wanting to get close to people. You stop putting yourself out there where you might be hurt and you start living your life again.”

“But you put yourself out there with me, you let yourself be hurt if I told you no. I’m not trying to be a prick Stephanie, I just want to know what’s going on in your head.” His eyes were concerned as he reached out touching my cheek. “Now come on, let’s enjoy the afternoon, we can talk about this later on. I promised you big kitties, now lets go see the big cats.”

The playful smile that lingered on his lips as he looked at me, reminded me of a big kid. The playful glint in his emerald eyes told me that he wasn’t upset and made me feel better about what I had said as well. “You’re right. Let’s go, it’s been forever since I’ve seen a lion or a tiger.”

“Off to the lions and tigers then dear.”

***

“I’m glad that you finally decided to join us.” Cara offered a warm smile before she wrapped her arms around me pulling me into a hug. “We were beginning to think maybe David was keeping you locked up.”

“Although, I’m pretty sure you could handle yourself with him and it would be more like you were keeping him locked up.” Katie grinned. “Then again, he might enjoy that knowing how twisted he can be.”

That was the one thing about Katie that I adored, her sense of humor. She was always laughing and smiling about something and knowing how close she and David were it didn’t surprise me when he was often the target of her banter. “When I left he was laying on the couch, reading a book or something.” If I had to be honest, it wasn’t as if I had truly paid very close attention to it.

“Tisk, tisk, he aught to be running lines.” Cara smirked and shook her head. “Come on, the days fading away with all this chit chat!”


End file.
